


Love and Monsters

by versaphile



Series: Impossibility [2]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Crossover, Episode: s02e11 Fear Her, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-05
Updated: 2008-01-05
Packaged: 2017-11-25 11:11:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/638280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/versaphile/pseuds/versaphile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fear Her AU. Jack's new life isn't going as smoothly as he'd hoped. Neither is their trip to see the 2012 Olympics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"So are you gonna tell her or should I?" Jack asks, after Rose has gone to bed for the night.

"Tell her what?" the Doctor asks, avoiding his eyes. Staring at a burnt-out circuit like it's the most fascinating thing in the universe.

"Oh, about a little thing called 'us,'" Jack says. "It's been two days. I never thought you were the prudish type."

"I'm not!" the Doctor protests. "I just... It's not the right time."

"So what is the right time? How long do you want to play this game?" Jack steps closer, turns the Doctor to face him. Leans in, lowers his voice. "Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to keep my hands off you until she's asleep?"

"Yes," the Doctor replies, breathily. Pulls away. "A bit of self-restraint never hurt anyone."

Jack sighs.

"I'll tell her," the Doctor insists. "I will."

"Tomorrow morning?"

The Doctor squirms. "Morning, afternoon, evening. Rather inaccurate when we're in the Vortex to fall back on the relative spin of a planet to its sun."

Jack thought it'd be longer before the Doctor's stubborn avoidance made him want to strangle him. "Fine. I'll do it."

"Fine," the Doctor says, but he doesn't look happy about that either. 

"Good," Jack says, firmly.

"Going to tell her about your being unable to die while you're at it?" the Doctor counters, pointedly.

Now it's Jack's turn to avoid eye contact.

"Thought so," the Doctor says, quietly smug.

Jack decides that it's better that he goes somewhere else for a while, before he says something he regrets. 

He loves the Doctor, he really does, but he can be just as infuriating as his old self was. Maybe more, but that's probably because they're much further under each other's skins this time around. Still, he knew what he was signing up for: an emotionally difficult, stubborn, handsome, childish, brilliant, wonderful _bastard_ , who happens to be a master at avoidance.

Not that he's doing much better. He glossed over a hell of a lot when telling Rose about where he'd been. Skipped right from the game station to the twenty-first century. She deserves to know the truth, but he can't bring himself to burst the bubble of her happiness. Selfishly, he wants to stay in it himself. There's nothing he'd like better than to forget about a hundred and twenty-five years of his life, and as long as she thinks Jack is a perfectly normal fifty-first century human, Jack _is_ a perfectly normal fifty-first century human. When she's around, it feels like he never left the TARDIS, like it was all a terrible dream and now he's awake.

It can't last. Secrets, especially secrets this big, have a way of getting out. And if Jack learned anything from running Torchwood it's that secrecy isn't all it's cracked up to be. The longer they wait to tell her everything, the harder it's going to be.

Somehow that doesn't make it any easier to actually do it.

 

"Were you up all night again?" Rose asks, when she comes into the kitchen to find Jack already there. She's sleepy and mussed and still in robe and pyjamas, and yawns as she sits down.

Jack shrugs. "Not much of a sleeper these days," he says. "Thought I'd make you some breakfast. What's your pleasure?"

"Hmm," Rose says. Makes a face like she's considering a very difficult choice. "French toast, please." She smiles.

"French toast coming up," Jack says. He goes to the fridge and finds eggs and butter and milk, all fresh. They didn't exist a minute ago, and neither did the loaf of cinnamon bread in the cupboard. Jack enjoys cooking; he's no gourmet, but he likes working with his hands, giving pleasure in ways other than sex. Not that he's cooked much recently. There was no kitchen in the hub, and he wonders if he left it out on purpose.

"It's so weird that you're back," Rose says, suddenly, then laughs at herself. "That didn't come out right."

Jack soaks two thick pieces of bread. "If you want to try that again, I don't mind."

"Here you are, all making me breakfast," Rose says. "I just, I don't know. Thought you'd found something you needed to do. And the Doctor wasn't worried, so..." She shrugs.

Jack watches the butter sizzle in the pan. Slaps in the sopping bread. "I did," he says. "It's done."

"Mm," Rose says. She drums her fork against the table. "What do you think of him? The Doctor, I mean. The new him."

Jack smiles to himself. "He's different. Full of surprises."

"Oh, totally," Rose agrees. "Oh my god, when he changed? I completely freaked out. You have no idea. I thought he was a Slitheen or something, and then he started shouting and then passed out! It was a nightmare."

"He didn't warn you?"

"Barely," she groans. "He was going on about having two heads, or none. Completely mad. God, it's good to have someone I can finally talk to about this."

Jack serves her a plate and one for himself, and joins her at the table. "It's just been the two of you?"

"Mickey came along for a while."

"Really?" Jack says, surprised. "How'd you twist the Doctor's arm?"

"He actually wanted him along," she says. She leans forward. "He's been acting kinda weird, but..."

"Hard to know what's weird for him?" Jack guesses.

"Exactly," Rose says, relieved that he understands. "I mean, changing every cell in his body is weird enough. I dunno, it's hard to explain. 's like, one minute we're best mates, right? And the next he can't get far enough away. And then he's back again. It's impossible to talk to him about it. He just changes the subject."

"Sounds about right," Jack says. 

"Not that I can stay mad at him," she says, softening. "He's like a big kid sometimes. Most of the time."

Jack thinks about tumbling in the grass with the Doctor. Tries not to smile too obviously. Takes a bite of his bread.

"I forget, you know?" she says, quietly. "At first, every time I looked at him, all I could see was how he was before. When he was lying in bed, sick, all I wanted was the old him back. The proper Doctor."

"And now?"

Rose pushes her food around with her fork. "Now it's different," she says, looking away. Takes a bite. "Mickey's gone."

"Gone?"

"He left," she says, sad yet somehow proud. "He's in a parallel universe, can you believe it? My Mickey. I never thought he'd step foot out of London."

"Found something he needed to do?" Jack offers.

"Mm," Rose says. "Good for him, yeah?"

"Good for him," Jack agrees. 

"So you meant it, right? You really are staying," she says, meeting his eyes, looking into them as if seeking certainty.

"I really am," he assures her. 

"Still in your pajamas?" the Doctor says, bouncing into the kitchen, alight with excitement. "No time to be lounging about when we've got a destination."

"Restless Doctor," Rose says, leaning forward conspiratorially. "Better watch out."

"Oi!" the Doctor says, and snatches a piece of her bread. "Just because I don't need to sloth my life away like certain humans I could name..."

Rose grabs the syrup and holds it out threateningly. "Syrup head," she says, and lunges at him with it, trying to gets some in his hair.

The Doctor yelps and skitters away, hiding behind Jack. Jack holds up his hands in alarm. "I'm not in the middle of this," he protests.

Rose's eyes narrow, and she suddenly runs around the table, which makes the Doctor run laughing away from her, and they chase each other around until Rose gets in a good tackle. The Doctor cries out, "Wait, wait! I surrender, just not the hair, please! Olympics!"

"What?" Rose says, syrup bottle poised.

"2012 Olympics. Thirtieth Olympiad! Opening doo-dah, ceremony, tonight, wouldn't that be nice?"

"Suppose so," Rose says, easing back the bottle. "Yeah, all right!" She releases him, walks back to her chair, poised like royalty. "But I'm finishing my breakfast first. _Jack_ made it for me." She winks at him.

The Doctor straightens his rumpled clothes, fusses with his hair. "I don't cook," he says, vaguely offended. 

"That's 'cause you burn everything. He can't even make toast properly," Rose says, smirking.

"I don't see why I have to stand here and be insulted," the Doctor says. But he goes over to the fridge and pours himself a glass of orange juice anyway. Then steals a piece of Jack's french toast, licks his syrupy finger clean. "Not bad," he says.

"Gee, thanks," Jack replies, dryly.

"Stop snatching our food," Rose tells him.

"Two against one now, is it?" the Doctor says. 

"Yup," Rose says.

"That's just not fair at all," the Doctor replies, attempting a pout and failing at it. He tries to snatch another piece of Jack's food, but Jack slaps his hand away. The Doctor does pout then, quite convincingly.

"Do you want me to make you some?" Jack asks, eyebrow arched.

The Doctor's pout transforms into a grin. "Thought you'd never ask," he says and slinks into a chair. Snatches the syrup and pours some onto a finger and sucks at it.

"He's got no manners, either," Rose says, as Jack opens the fridge. "Honestly, I don't know why I put up with him."

"Because I'm so adorable. And handsome," the Doctor says, confidently. "And brilliant."

"Listen to him!" Rose says, astonished. "I don't think he deserves breakfast, Jack."

Jack laughs, but soaks a piece of cinnamon bread anyway. By the time the french toast is done, the Doctor is regaling them with stories about previous opening ceremonies. 

Rose rolls her eyes. "Liar," she teases. "You've got to be making that up."

"No, no, it's all true, I swear," the Doctor insists. Stops talking only to shove food into his mouth. "That was the end of that tea party, I can tell you. Oh! Just had a thought." he says, suddenly, grabs the rest of his bread and runs out of the room. 

Jack and Rose exchanged bemused expressions. 

"How do you keep up with him?" Jack says. "I thought he was high-energy before, but..." During the Doctor's stay at Torchwood, Jack had forgotten that he wasn't running on full steam, between recovering from his injuries, mourning Jack, and repairing the TARDIS, not to mention the whole giant demon business. It amazes him to realize that the Doctor is normally twice as manic as he'd expected, and twice again over how he was before their reunion.

"Caffeine and adrenaline," Rose says, wisely. "Though he is sort of infectious. Maybe with two of us he won't be able to run us into the ground."

Jack holds out his arm for her. "Team TARDIS?" he says, remembering their old nickname. 

"Absolutely," Rose says, grinning, and they walk arm in arm to the console room.

The Doctor's epiphany turned out to be a sudden desire for fairy cake. "Did you ever have one of those little cakes with the crunchy ball bearings on top?" he asks, when they arrive to find him rummaging through his toolbox. "Do you know those, those things? These things!" He pulls out a small vial, triumphant, and then frowns sadly. He rattles the vial and the lone candy bearing tinkles against the plastic.

"You keep cake decorations in your toolbox?" Jack asks.

"Where else would you keep ball bearings?" the Doctor replies, as if this makes perfect sense. "Nobody else in this entire galaxy's ever even bothered to make edible ball bearings. Genius. We have to get more." He hops to his feet. "Allons-y!" He smacks the console and the TARDIS wheezes to a landing.

"We're getting ball bearings at the Olympics?" Rose asks, still as bemused as Jack is.

"Of course," the Doctor says. "Just need to find a tea party. Come on!" And with that, he bounces to the doors and out. Stops dead. "Ah."

"What's wrong?" Jack asks.

"Bit of a tight spot. Hold on." The Doctor goes back to the console, fiddles with the navigation and tries again. Goes to the door more cautiously and peeks out. "Ah!" he says, pleased, and walks outside.

As they follow him out, Jack thinks to himself that he's in love with a lunatic. 

"What's that smile about?" Rose asks, bumping him with her elbow. "Hoping we'll find another Mark? Legs strong as a whippet?" She laughs. "Same old Jack."

"You got me," Jack lies, but his happiness turns sour inside him. He wants to tell her the truth, he really does. All of it. But it's not just his story to tell. He wants the Doctor to be honest with her, too.

But the Doctor is blithely sauntering along the street, hands in his pockets and not a care in the world. Poking about like he owns the place, like nothing can touch him. Still blithering on even though it's hard for them to make out what he's saying, because he hasn't bothered to wait up for them. He expects the universe to change to suit his needs, and damned if he doesn't get his way more often than not. He certainly got Jack to change, leaving everything behind the moment he showed up. It doesn't matter that Jack was waiting for him anyway. It's the fact that the Doctor got what he wanted so effortlessly. Even Jack's forgiveness.

They catch up to him when he's stopped in front of a telephone pole, peering at some papers stuck to it. Posters for missing children, all taken in the past week. 

"Something's here," the Doctor says, suddenly serious.

"Why would a person do something like this?" Rose asks, concerned. Sympathetic. She was always good at sympathy.

"What makes you think it's a person?" the Doctor replies, and tugs his coat closer around himself. "And why is it so cold? Is something reducing the temperature?"

It's only then that Jack notices the chill. It's supposed to be summer, but he can see his breath. There's definitely something strange going on, and he doesn't like it. His first instinct is to call his team, but he doesn't have a team anymore. No Hub, no SUV, no weapons. It unsettles him.

"We should call UNIT," Jack insists. "It's probably still around. Get in some equipment, sweep the area. We need to contain this, if it's not already too late."

But Rose and the Doctor just stare at him.

"Jack, we've handled massive alien invasions," Rose says. "Cybermen. Werewolves. It's just some missing kids."

Jack thinks of Estelle. Of Jasmine and mouths full of petals. He thinks he doesn't want to think about Rose and Cybermen. "Whatever's taking those kids, it's evil. We're not prepared to take it down. We need equipment, backup, manpower."

The Doctor frowns, disapproving. "We don't need the military coming in guns blazing," he says, sternly. "We don't even know that it's evil."

"We don't know it's not," Jack replies, back straight, meeting his gaze. "It's irresponsible not to use every resource we have."

"It's mindless military stupidity," the Doctor says, trying to glare Jack down. "I thought you knew better, Jack. I thought you'd _learned_."

"Yeah? Well, maybe I _un_ learned," Jack says, loudly. "Maybe we don't have to do everything your way. Maybe I'm more interested in saving lives than goddamn _tea parties_."

Rose gapes at them. 

The Doctor looks furious. "You want to do things your way?" he challenges. "Fine. You go your way, I'll go mine. Rose, come on." He takes a few long strides away until he realizes Rose isn't following him. 

"I'm staying with Jack," she says, though she doesn't seem entirely certain about it. Then she suddenly does. "We're together, right? A team." Then, more softly: "We'll meet up once we've looked around."

The Doctor softens, nods. Then glares at Jack before striding off down the street.

Rose turns to Jack. "Maybe it's a monster. Maybe not. But I'm not having the two of you butting heads when there's kids missing."

"Yes ma'am," Jack nods, more chastised by her calmness than all of the Doctor's anger.

Rose holds out her arm. "Come on. Let's find them first."

Jack relents and takes her arm, and they walk on together.


	2. Chapter 2

While the Doctor is poking through people's front yards, Jack and Rose snoop around back. 

"What are you doing?" Rose asks, when Jack flips open his wrist device. 

"Checking for energy signatures," Jack replies. The scanner has a limited range, but they don't have much ground to cover anyway. "I'm scanning for anything unusual. Could be weapons discharge, fuel from a ship. If we're dealing with something non-corporeal, its energy should stand out."

"That's good," Rose says. 

She's quiet as they slowly walk through the alley. Jack can tell she's full of questions. His spat with the Doctor got way out of hand. He regretted it as soon as his temper had a chance to cool, but what's done is done. He'll deal with the fallout later.

Through the gap between the houses he sees the Doctor in the middle of a heated discussion with several residents. There's a lot of shouting, and he's glad to leave the Doctor to it. Let him suffer with the difficult civilians.

"So," Rose says, giving in to her curiosity and starting the conversation that Jack doesn't want to have. "That's what you were doing? Working for the military?"

"Basically, yeah," Jack says, keeping his eyes on the scanner. "Extra-military."

"I wondered why you were so..."

"So what?" Jack asks, glancing at her.

"You used to be, I dunno. More relaxed. Dancing, drinks, and... and other things, that was all you cared about. Well, and us."

Jack stops and looks at her properly. "I never stopped caring about you," he says. 

"Yeah," Rose says, quietly glad. "But you have changed. I mean, you were always all tactical, but never so... You never would have shouted at the Doctor before, not like that."

"It's complicated," Jack says. Turns back to the scanner as they resume walking.

"Did something happen between you two?" she asks. 

"Why do you say that?" Jack asks, as casually as possible.

Rose shrugs. "You mean apart from the butting heads? The Doctor isn't normally Mister Testosterone."

Jack laughs at that.

"Mister Save The World, yeah," Rose continues, smiling herself. "Mister I Know Everything. Mister Look At Me."

Jack's wrist device beeps. "I'll be Mister Look At This," he says, showing her the readout. "Ionic residue, and lots of it."

Rose sniffs. "Do you smell something? Sort of... metal?"

"Right on the nose," Jack says. "From what those posters said, this must be where one of the kids was snatched."

"Danny Edwards, I think," Rose says. "He was on his bike, and then he vanished."

"Well, that's one question answered. We know how they were taken. What we don't know is why, or who."

They hear an engine sputtering to life, and then roaring away. They walk out of the alley, and find the Doctor peering into a cardboard box.

"Lose something?" Rose asks, amused.

"Yes," the Doctor says, slowly. "A large ginger cat."

"In that little box?" Rose says.

"I don't think it went into the box," the Doctor replies. He turns the box to her. "Get a whiff of that."

Both Rose and Jack have to wave off the strong waft of ionic residue.

"God, it smells like a burnt fuse plug or something," Rose says, grimacing.

"We found the same thing back there," Jack says, all business.

"Something's using an awful lot of power," the Doctor says. "Just to snatch a living organism out of space/time. This baby is just like, 'I'm 'avin' some of that.' I'm impressed."

"So that's what it's doing?" Rose asks. "Transporting them?"

"We need to find the source of that power," the Doctor continues, waggling his finger about. "Find the source and you will find... whatever has taken to stealing children and fluffy animals."

"Did you hear that?" Jack says, cocking his ear. 

"Hear what?" Rose asks.

Jack turns, looks out at the street. "I don't know. It was just... there!" He sees the door of a garage shake with a thump and then go still. He hurries across the street to it, Rose and the Doctor on his heels.

"What do you think it is?" Rose asks, and jumps as the door thumps violently.

"Only one way to find out," the Doctor says. He grins and reaches for the handle.

"No!" Jack says, but suddenly the air is filled with something big and _alive_. He flails at it wildly, falls to the ground as it presses down at him. And then suddenly it's gone. He looks up to see the Doctor smiling down at him and tossing a small wirey ball in his hand. 

"I'll give you a fiver if you can tell me what the hell it is, 'cause I haven't got the foggiest." The Doctor tosses it to Rose, who catches it with a surprised sound, then offers his hand to Jack. Jack takes it, and the Doctor pulls him to his feet.

"Well, I can tell you you've just killed it," Rose says, turning it around.

"It was never living," the Doctor explains. "It's animated by energy. Same energy that's snatching people." Rose tosses it back to him, and he catches it with a laugh. "That is so dinky! The Go-Anywhere creature. Fits in your pocket. Makes friends, impresses the boss, breaks the ice at parties..."

"And attacks people," Jack finishes. And that dampens the mood.

The Doctor holds up the ball and looks Jack in the eye. "Whatever made this, it isn't the product of something evil."

"Based on what? Time Lord intuition? You're betting those kids lives on it."

"Then let's even the odds a bit." The Doctor turns and walks off. "Back to the TARDIS! We'll find out exactly what this vicious little ball is made of."

 

"Graphite!" the Doctor cries, surprised and even pleased with himself. "Basically the same material as an HB pencil." 

"We were attacked by a pencil scribble?" Rose asks.

He tosses the partially-erased ball to Jack, who catches it and inspects it. It's made of _pencil_. What the hell kind of bad guy makes monsters out of pencil? It smells of ionic residue. Jack scans it with his wrist device and it's still faintly imbued with energy.

"Scribble creature," the Doctor corrects, snatching it back and tossing it in the air. "Brought into being with ionic energy. Whatever we're dealing with, it can create things as well as take them. But why make a scribble creature?"

"Maybe it was a mistake," Rose offers. "I mean, you scribble over something when you want to get rid of it. Like a um... like a drawing. Like a child's drawing." Her eyes go wide. "Do you think it could be some kind of alien child?"

"Or a possessed one," Jack says. This isn't the fairies again, but he can't get them out of his head. 

"But everyone's keeping their kids inside," Rose says. "How're we gonna find out which it is?"

"I can track it," Jack says, tapping his wrist device. "Trace the energy signature. But only if we catch it in the act."

"What?" the Doctor says, aghast. "Put out small children and cats at random and wait to see if one gets snatched? Well, maybe the cats, but--"

"What do you care?" Jack says, his anger rising again. "You think this is all some kind of game and all those kids are fine. You don't know that they've been transported. They could be dead."

The Doctor turns serious. "They are not dead."

"But you don't know that," Jack insists. "Tell you what, you're so sure that they're fine, one of us can be the bait. How about Rose?"

The moment he says it, the moment he sees the disbelief and anger in the Doctor's eyes, he knows he's gone too far. But it's too late to back off now.

"Don't you dare," the Doctor says, with low menace. "Don't you even think it."

"Excuse me!" Rose says, outraged at the both of them.

"I thought so," Jack says, with a satisfaction he doesn't quite feel. "You don't want to listen to me, fine. You want it to be your way or the highway, _fine_. _I'll_ do it." And with that, he yanks off his wrist device and throws it at the Doctor, then turns on his heels and strides out of the TARDIS.

He doesn't know why he's so angry, but he lets his anger drive him, taking him back to the street, right to the middle where he can see all the windows. 

"I know you're in there!" he shouts, turning as he calls the monster out. "I know you're taking them. If you don't come out, I'm coming in, and I'm gonna make you give _every one of them back!_ "

He calls out again and again, scanning for a face in those windows. Whatever is doing this, it has to be afraid enough to act, because Jack sure as hell knows he'll kill it personally once he finds it. And that's when he sees it, the face in the upstairs window of one of the house. Watching him, staring at him, measuring him up.

He stares back at the face with a furious glare. " _Give them back!_ " he shouts. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Rose and the Doctor running towards him, calling for him. 

He takes two steps forward. On the first step, he hears Rose shout his name, and smells metal. On the second, the world vanishes.


	3. Chapter 3

Jack has been many things in his long lifetime, but he's never been a drawing before.

It's hard to even comprehend the two dimensional world he's found himself in. He can see the real world right there, right in front of him, but when he strains for it the only thing that happens is that he gets bigger. When he turns around, it's not actually turning so much as the sensation of being _redrawn_.

At least he's not alone. He's found the children, even the cat. They're all imprisoned here with him, each trapped in their own cell of coloured pencil and construction paper. He doesn't have his scanner, but everything reeks of ionic energy. Metal and graphite.

He can hear, though the sounds from the real world are muffled and at least one ear has to be showing. He can hear banging from downstairs, distant shouts of the Doctor and Rose and a woman. He can hear the child who trapped him singing under her breath and telling him to be quiet.

She hides him under a book, and there are no more sounds, no more light.

He's finally found something stranger than never dying.

He moves around his paper cell, and the walls of it aren't really paper but ionic energy. He strains to think of what he knows about the stuff. Wishes for Toshiko's database. Ianto's resourcefulness. He left them behind and he can't go back, not in any real way. He can visit but he never belonged there and he made that choice. He didn't know he'd miss them so much.

Sorrow wells in his chest, and he feels the ionic walls twist in reaction. Emotion! They react to emotion. He can suddenly feel the sadness of the captured children, their frustration at being trapped. Some kind of empathic connection enabled by this strange world. If they feel the same emotions, he can find them, and if he can find them, he might just be able to save them.

They're children, young minds without any sort of psychic training. He not only had training in the Time Agency, but in Torchwood under Yvonne Hartman's reign. He can block unwanted intrusions, but more importantly he can _project_.

He draws a sword with his thoughts, and it exists. He takes it.

He summons all his sadness, all his anger and frustration. The people he's lost, the loneliness he's felt, the difficulties his choices have brought him. The stronger his own pain, the more clearly he can feel each crying child, and he strikes out at the thin cell walls.

One by one he finds them. Dale. Jane. Danny. Even the cat, mewing plaintively and clawing vainly at the flat world. In their empathy they're instinctively drawn to him the way he is to them, and they follow him through the ionic world.

Once they are all together in one place, he traps them in a single cell. At least this way they'll have each other, and he has something even more important to do. He has a monster to slay.

He summons his anger, his fury at the monster that's done this terrible crime to these innocent children. He summons the rage he's felt at every monster that's escaped justice, and it is terrible but it's not enough. It's not enough to be angry at other people.

It's convenient, then, that he's angry with himself. Disgusted that he would even suggest that they sacrifice Rose. That he would lash out at the Doctor, hurt him intentionally when mere days ago he was comforting him. He's angry with himself because he's been pretending to be a good man and that's never been what he is. He's always been so quick to cruelty, always been so quick to anger and revenge. Always been a conman pretending to be a hero. He's furious at Rose for believing it, at the Doctor for loving him even though he knows what Jack is capable of, at the Doctor for being _vulnerable_ when Jack wants him to be strong and tough and the way he used to be, and at himself for rejecting the Doctor for who he is now even as he embraced him. He disgusts himself.

The empathic field _sings_. And Jack knows he is a monster too because there's no chance of self-deception here.

He cuts through the ionic walls like the paper they look to be made of. He flies through this endless, flat world and homes in on the self-disgusted fury that's pouring from ahead.

He knows he's found it when he sees the demonic glow. Hears the terrible roar, the shouting, the pounding of rage. It's shaped like a man but he knows it isn't one. It's massive, a towering giant.

He lunges at it with his sword. Swipes at its leg, but it just roars in anger. It tries to grab him, but Jack dives out of the way. He forces himself to cool down; he's not going to beat it unless his head is clear, and anger only clouds his judgement.

He has to use this world's rules against the monster. He looks at the real world, still running in parallel with the ionic one, and sees that it's mostly dark but there's dim stripes of light. He moves closer to it and feels himself being redrawn, his lines stretching. He keeps pressing forward until he's a giant himself, a match for the monster.

They fight. He slices at it with his sword, but finds the demonic man redraws itself after every cut. They grapple in the strange way that two-dimensional bodies fit together. He demands answers, freedom for himself and the others, but the monster just roars at him, raves about little brats who misbehave.

Finally, he gets the upper hand. Pins the monster's hands behind his back and ionically handcuffs him, ties him down. Not that there's an actual floor or wall or even ceiling, but whatever this surface is, he uses it as leverage, as an anchor point. 

And then it's done. Just like that. Except it isn't, because he's no better off now than he was when he was first captured. He still doesn't know how to get out, how to save the others, how to reach Rose and the Doctor. Despair washes over him. He's trapped, away from those he loves, and they parted in anger.

It's then that he feels it. Something new. The emotion of another, quiet and hurting and alone. Another kidnapped child? He must have missed one of them somehow.

He walks away from the snarling, furious monster of a man, who can't hurt him or anyone else here, and lets the empathic connection draw him to the other. The child.

As he draws nearer, the world changes. Grows dark around him, grows more real. He's half-sketch, half flesh, and more real by the step. Ahead of him, in the darkness, there's a small, bright glow.

Oh. _Oh._

He understands now.

The last of his anger, his self-loathing, he leaves them behind. He takes the small alien, so young and lonely, and gathers it in the palm of his hand. It looks like a little flower. It's a child, and this is its world.

He was wrong. He was wrong about so much. He holds the child to his chest and comforts it. Shows it that its not alone, that it will be cared for, that it doesn't have to be afraid.

And suddenly finds himself on the floor of a young girl's bedroom, the young girl cradled in his arms. Her mother is standing there, open-mouthed, and Rose and the Doctor too. There's a half-drawn Earth on the wall. There's a commotion outside, and children's voices.

It's over.


	4. Chapter 4

He returns Chloe to the arms of her mother, and calmly helps the Doctor find the little pod that the Isolus travels in. Once it's charged, they'll track down the alien child's siblings and reunite them.

He's in the middle of a reunion himself. It was easy to hug Rose, to apologize for his thoughtless words. She just punches him on the arm and calls them even, and says that she's used to risking her life. She's just glad to have him back.

The Doctor is more difficult, which doesn't surprise him in the least. This is the second time Jack has vanished on him, and Jack wasn't dead for days this time but they were on much more precarious terms before he was snatched from the street. Whenever he tries to talk, the Doctor does what he does best, which is avoiding meaningful conversation.

It's not until they're back in the TARDIS and the Isolus is on its way back to its family that Jack finally gets him alone and corners him.

"I'm sorry," he says. "You were right. I was wrong."

The Doctor avoids his eyes. "Doesn't matter. All sorted now," he says. Looks past Jack's shoulder at the nearest door. "There's still time to catch the shot put. Papua New Guinea surprises everyone."

"I don't care about the shot put," Jack says, more harshly than intended. He reminds himself not to be angry. Anger was never the solution to any of this. "I need to know that we're all right."

"Of course we are," the Doctor says, with false lightness.

"Look me in the eye and say that," Jack says.

The Doctor doesn't. He can't even look Jack in the eye at all. Maybe Jack pushed him away so hard that he's lost him, and over so little. He was just... 

It doesn't matter what he was. Whether he was resentful or angry or just having trouble adjusting to not being in charge anymore. He made his choice all on his own; the Doctor didn't make it for him, and he doesn't deserve to be punished for Jack's regrets.

"I want this to work," he says, quiet but certain. "I want to stay. Can we try again? Start over?"

The Doctor gives a tired laugh. "How many times does that make it?"

"As many times as it has to," Jack says, feeling unusually honest right now. He cups the Doctor's cheek, but doesn't force him to look up. "I think we're worth at least a few dozen second chances. It's not like we don't have the time."

The Doctor glances up at him, then back down. Jack knows he's hit a sore spot. If there's anything the Doctor can't handle, it's losing the people he loves. Losing Jack. 

"I came back," Jack tells him. "I'll always come back."

The Doctor swallows. "Don't say it unless you mean it," he says, voice tight.

"I promise," Jack says. "Look at me. I promise."

The Doctor looks at him. Meets his eyes. Sees that Jack means it, truly means it and isn't just saying it, and his tension breaks. He wraps Jack in a tight hug and doesn't let go for a good minute.

When the Doctor stops squeezing him like a needy python, Jack kisses him. There's apology in the kiss, and love and comfort and promise. What they have might not always be easy, but it's worth fighting for. It's worth living for. Jack knows he's not a good man, but the Doctor is, and maybe that's enough.

"There you two are," Rose says, walking in on them. "I made... um..." She stares, open mouthed. There's a tray of fairy cakes in her hands, with candy ball bearings in the frosting.

Jack and the Doctor quickly pull apart, both flustered.

Nobody says anything. Nobody knows what to say.

"...cake?" Rose finishes.

The Doctor plucks one from the tray. Bites into it. "Delicious," he says, mouth full. The ball bearings crunch when he chews.

"Thanks," Rose says, faintly. "So. Um. This is new."

"We were going to tell you," Jack insists, really wishing they'd done it at the start. "We just..." He trails off, feeling incredibly awkward.

"This started when the Doctor fell. Through the black hole. Right?" Rose says, sorting it out for herself. "I knew there was something. Nobody fights like that unless they're... unless they're _shagging_." 

Jack winces. The Doctor continues to avoid everyone's eyes. Jack realizes that if he doesn't handle this, the Doctor isn't going to step up to the plate. Maybe the next time he regenerates he'll end up with some emotional competence, but Jack doubts it.

"Rose," he says, clearly and deliberately. "The Doctor and I are in a relationship. I'm sorry we didn't tell you right away. We should have. You didn't deserve to be lied to."

Rose looks at him for a long while, then sighs. "All right. No drama. I can deal with this. But I reserve the right to tease the both of you mercilessly for it."

"Fair enough," Jack says. Holds out his arms. "Friends?"

"Of course, you idiot," Rose says, and hugs him. Gives Jack the tray and turns to the Doctor. "And you."

The Doctor hangs back, warily. Rose walks over and pulls him into a hug. "What did you think I'd do, bite your head off? Stomp and scream?"

"I thought you'd leave," the Doctor says, quietly.

"You're my best friend," Rose tells him. "You're an idiot. You're both idiots. You deserve each other."

The Doctor laughs. "I suppose we do."

Rose sighs. Shakes her head. "Men. Honestly, the lot of you."

Jack sets aside the tray. "There's something else you need to know."

"Jack," the Doctor warns, but Jack just gives him a look.

"She needs to know," Jack says.

"Know what?" Rose asks, warily.

"I used to tell you stories. I have a story," he says, letting the words flow without thought. "It's a long one. A hundred and twenty-nine years long."

Rose frowns, but doesn't interrupt.

"It's about a man who every time he dies, he comes back. Every time. And that wouldn't be so bad except the man was abandoned by his friends. And when he tried to get back to them, he screwed up. Got stuck. So he had to wait a very, very long time to see them again."

Rose says nothing, just looks at him with a strange expression. "What are you talking about?"

"Me, Rose," Jack sighs. "I'm talking about me."

"But you're not-- you look the same," she says, baffled. "You can't have been gone long. And what do you mean about coming back?" She gives a nervous laugh. "You're having me on."

Jack just looks at her. Tries to make that be enough.

Rose steps back. Steps forward. "Are you like him, then? Not human, or some weird future version of human."

"No," Jack says. He keeps his voice even, calm. "I was just a normal human, like you. But you changed that."

"Me? What did I do?" she says, voice rising.

"You brought me back," Jack explains, though he's starting to realize something and he doesn't much like it. The Doctor looks guilty, which is a bad sign. "When you saved the Doctor from the Daleks."

"Saved the--" Rose starts, looking at him as if he's the one with two heads. "You planning on making sense anytime soon?"

"You don't remember," Jack says, certain now. "And he didn't tell you." He groans. 

"Tell me what? Jack, _tell me what?_ " she says, insistently. Looks between him and the Doctor.

"What do you remember about the game station?" Jack asks. "At the end, after the Doctor sent you back."

"I..." Rose says, trails off. "He sent me home, yeah. We couldn't get the TARDIS to work. Me and Mickey and, and Mum. She got a pickup truck and we hooked it to the console. Figured if we could pry it off, we could, I dunno, jump start it. Sounds completely daft." She gives a nervous laugh.

"And then what?"

"And then... I dunno. Next thing I knew, it was like I was waking up. And the Doctor was there, going on about singing and scaring off the Daleks and Barcelona. I didn't care about stupid Barcelona." She rubs at her eye, careful not to smear her mascara. "I knew there was something... that I did something. What did I do, Jack?"

"You saved us," the Doctor says, finally speaking up. "You saved the Earth. You did what I couldn't."

"But you couldn't tell me?" Rose says, turning to him. "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't we go back for him?"

The Doctor doesn't have an answer for that, no matter how much Rose stares at him.

"You looked into the heart of the TARDIS," Jack tells her, remembering the Doctor's story. "You destroyed the Daleks and brought me back, but the energy was killing you. So the Doctor took it, and it killed him instead."

Horror creeps over Rose's face. "I killed him." She turns back to the Doctor. "I killed you? That was because of me? Oh, god."

"If you hadn't, none of us would be here. You did the right thing," Jack tells her. 

"Oh, god," Rose says, arms wrapped around herself. 

"Rose, please," Jack says, worried for her. He hadn't expected so bad a reaction.

"Take me home," she says, voice quivering. "I want to see my mum. Take me home now!"

The Doctor hurries out, his face drawn. Moments later they hear the wheeze of dematerialization. Rose runs out of the room, and Jack counts the seconds until he hears the main doors slam.

Jack picks up the tray of cupcakes, still warm. He thinks of Rose making them, sprinkling on the ball bearings. He sets down the tray, goes to find the Doctor, and hopes they can fix this.

The Doctor is nowhere to be seen. Jack walks out of the TARDIS, thinking he might be outside, and stops in shock. In horror.

A ghost shift. They're in the middle of a ghost shift, which can only mean one thing.

The battle of Canary Wharf is about to commence, and Rose Tyler is going to die.


End file.
